Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Adulthood is realizing some things

Today is the first day I have woken up without the threat... without the excuse of school.

When I moved to Rio, I stopped painting, listening to music, reading, following (and ranting about) the news and working out regularly.

When I moved to Brazil I stopped working, left my friends and no longer would bike

though the cold morning air

watching the sun rise

jamming out to my iPod.

I realize now (God it pains me to say this) that in College Station I was happy. Really happy. I loved and was loved.

I cannot go back (nor do I want to) but still, as I mulled over my nebulous future I couldn't stop repeating that as I lay in bed this morning

on this first day without the promise or threat of school,

"it was there... beauty, I saw it..."

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