Don't stop, don't you dare stop now

It is now two days after my graduation and already I've become very aware of something.

Idleness and isolation are dangerous.

So, I fought back against the degenerating forces by taking out a 7 day free trial membership to a gym.

I was barely able to bench 54% of the weight I was lifting in October. Troubling.

Later my parents went over to have Christmas at my brother's. The house was so quiet I couldn't even read. So I went to the movies by myself and saw Precious.

As I drove home, something settled over me. Something I haven't felt in a long time.

Fear

I could feel it all around me like a dark cloud. Fear of more pain. Crushing crying in your bed, no escape, almost crazy pain.

I wish I could say that I had a revelation that left me calm and assured.
I wish I could say that tomorrow I will bound off to a future filled with peace, happiness and fulfillment.

But I can't.

Here's part of a review of Precious by Emma Johnson,

"Precious does not get a fairy tale ending by any stretch of the imagination: the road ahead of her will be hard. She very well may not make it. But those tiny victories are enough to sustain her — enough to keep her alive. And those moments are precious indeed."

Even if I don't get a job tomorrow, I'm going back to that gym and I will finish a workout.

The full review